Welcome back, for real this time.

I've done everything I can think of to avoid this moment right now. Changed the litter. Hauled out the recyclables. Emptied garbage bins. Made another cup of coffee. Played with the furbabies. All clever avoidance tactics I've honed over the years.

What am I so afraid of? Why is jotting down my thoughts, dreams, goals and such so intimidating to me. Maybe I'm afraid no one will read it. But that begs the question...why am I really doing this? Is it for me or you? Let me back-track a bit here.

I am a Toastmaster, for just over two years now. I've completed my Competent Communicator, the Competent Leader, Advanced Leader Bronze, and I'm in the 4th level of the 5 level Pathway, Persuasive Influence. I'm also working towards my Distinguished Toastmaster designation. Toastmasters is fun, and I've dived in feet first. After all, Public Speaking were the only two classes in college that I received an A...A+, actually. While I have no problem speaking in public, one of the challenges in this pathway is to complete a blog. Again, I thought...no problem. I've been writing various iterations of this blog for years now. And yet, every time I thought of a topic or decided to actually put fingers to keyboard (not the same ring as pen to paper, is it??), I would find a trillion other things to do.

There in lies the crux...when I have something I "should" be doing, whether it's dealing with issues in my house like the plumbing, organizing my office, my taxes, my budget, building my side hustle, exercise, weight loss...anything that is "adulting", I seem to easily willingly distract myself.

With your help, I am working on changing all of that this year. The hamster wheel, while fun to begin with, is getting boring. I'm tired of the same old, and yet it's what I so easily fall back in to. Jen Sincero said it best when she wrote "the walls of our comfort zone are lovingly papered with our excuses". It's time to break down one or all of those walls. I have all three of her books...let's try actually reading them, shall we? And the many, many other self-improvement, ,marketing, betterment books I have on hand. Did I mention there were many??

Kosmo helping Mommy choose

Step 1 for the blog - consistency. While I laughingly cry "go big or go home" history has taught me that I do just that...go home. I get overwhelmed and crawl back under the covers of complacency. One step at a time to start any journey, right? I will read, and do a book report on one of the books I have on hand right now and post at least 8 more times over the next few weeks. Which one shall it be, though??

I've decided on a rather appropriate one, in fact. The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks.

Conquer your hidden fear and take life to the next level

Please feel free to share this, if you think it may help someone you know. And comment...I love comments. Let's start a dialogue. How do you get yourself out of the "zone" when you get stuck? I'm open to ideas!

Thank you for reading.
Carol W.

What am I so afraid of?

I've thought about popping in here and jotting down a few things. And then a Friday turns into a Monday, turns into a Wednesday and I think "I'll get to it on the weekend". The weekend arrives and leaves, and as I'm crawling into bed Sunday night, I wonder what happened to another good intention. Another idea I've overlooked. Made excuses for. Passed by.

What am I so afraid of? The permanence of the words? Who even reads blogs anymore? Are they still a thing? I see them, so they must be, but I was never one to be up on the current trends. And what happens if someone, like you for example, does take a few minutes to read my rambling thoughts. What will happen? Maybe we'll start a conversation. Connect. Make a new friend. Reconnect with some old ones. It's a Devil-may-care world, this Blog-land, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it. Or is it ready for me?!

What to talk about? There's always my life. Still single...still have cats (2)...still living in my 106+ year old house, with the fence falling down and minor repairs required. Did I mention still single?? So that means I'm doing the minor repairs, or at least attempting to learn what I can. Maybe that's why I was also drawn to the part-time job at Home Depot. That, and I really do like the colour orange. I am still working in the banking industry, having recently celebrated my 2 year anniversary. And I am still working on pushing my entrepreneurial self out from behind my employee self. It has been a struggle, but I am also determined (read: stubborn) enough to make this work. That and the company direction is so exciting right now, especially after we got married in March. Wait, didn't I say I was single?! Yes, NOT that kind of married! In fact, that's a great post for another day. I haven't been to crossfit for a while (yet another post idea) but I am still a WW member (can't remember if we're actually allowed to call it Weight Watchers anymore) and continue to work on my personal health and wellness. All in all, much of my life is the same as it was. Hopefully a bit more interesting though. I've made new friends along the way and did some traveling throughout. Not a bad existence, now that I stop to think about it.

So the long and the short of it, is I am back. I will WILL write at least one post a week, as I think weekly is a great place to start. Let me know if there is something specific you'd be interested in. While I do not claim to know everything, I am great at research and am a graduate of MSU (Making $hit Up).

So...hi. My name is Carol, and I hope we can become friends.

With gratitude,
C.