It's been building all month. I've openly and eagerly participated in all of the fund-raising food and beverage offerings we've had over the past couple of weeks. After all, it's for the children, right?! Texas donuts, bake sales, a candy buffet, BBQ hamburgers, beer, Baileys, more beer, even more beer, chips...it goes on and on. I did manage to get myself out for a couple of walks, but let's face it; at this point, it's like using a squirt gun to try and put out a campfire.
So what am I going to do about it? I did try pouting all night. Didn't really help much. I made the decision to not go to WW (formally known as Weight Watchers) tonight either. Yes, yes, I know...when I'm up, I need my meeting/workshop/whatever the hell they call it now, and when I'm down, they need me. I just didn't want to face the digital devil, the people, anyone really. After all, I've been doing this for so long, the very logical brain cell knows what to do. It's just on the run from the "I want to eat all the things and do nothing" mob of brain cells, hell bent on destroying it!! At least something in me is running!
Time to step back and look at my why. Why do I want to lose this weight? After wandering around Winners for a while tonight, trust me, vanity jumped to the front of the queue. I want to look good. I also noticed my right cankle is back...meaning my rheumatoid is making it's not-so-subtle reappearance. Cankles are sooooo sexy, aren't they? The good news is no pain. I am off my RA meds (with full permission of my Dr, thank you) and I'm going to do my best to not have to rely on them again. I think between all the standing this past week at the Depot, the sudden heat, and yes, my rather poor eating/drinking habits, it was just a matter of time till something like this happened. I'm quadrupling my anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant supplements, as well as drinking my Pink Drink. I missed a couple of days here and there (mmmm...beer) so getting that habit re-established will help immensely. After all, I think that's a big reason for the initial remission.
But back to the why...vanity, health and quite frankly money. I should be rather tired by this point of WW being my favourite monthly donation!! I want to get to goal so that I don't have to pay anymore. There, I said it! So it is written, so it is done! Oh, to be THAT easy, huh?
I hate to say there's one more day of debauchery, but we are taking a team member out for her retirement lunch tomorrow...yes, to a pub. Yes, there will be beer. And most likely deep-fried things. But June dawns on Saturday, and that's as good a day as any to take those first healthy steps back into program.
To assist me along the way, I do have another set of books to read. I've been hearing all lot about Rachel Hollis lately that I decided on a couple of her books, as well as a working journal. Anything to trigger me into action. I am still
Time to settle down for the night. If you are in Alberta, watch that smoke intake. I hate to have to close the windows, but it smells like a campfire in here, and my sinuses have put up some rather solid blockades!! Pray for some rain (NO lightning, please) so we can get the evacuees back home.
Thank you for reading,
Carol W.
